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2012 Best Free Dating Site

Finding a decent free dating site about a decade ago was an impossible task; they just didn't exist. Plenty of Fish changed that playing field forever, and now there are more free dating sites popping up every day that I can keep track of.

We're just at the last stretch of the 2012 Dating Readers' Choice Awards, and I'd love to know what free dating site(s) you love. Last year OkCupid took the prize, with Plenty of Fish and Mingle2 in a tie for second. There's no log in requirement anymore - just a quick form to fill out and a submit at the bottom, to nominate your favorite, free hangout to meet other singles online: 2012 Dating Readers' Choice Awards.


about.com | 06-Feb-2012 13:03

Are You Ready for Valentine's Day?

I'm curious. How many people really aren't prepared for Valentine's Day? And how many single people shun the holiday completely? Vote now in the poll below by clicking on the link you choose.


about.com | 06-Feb-2012 04:01

Best Overall Dating Site 2012

A few weeks have passed without much fanfare in the 2012 Dating Readers' Choice awards. Nominations haven't been pouring in like they did last year (likely because of the sign-in requirement to nominate) although you can now share your nominations via Twitter and Facebook. This time last year I had thousands of write-in nominations - and would love a similar number this year for the final voting period. Last year's nominees for Best Overall Dating Site included eHarmony, Match.com, Mingle2, OkCupid, and Zoosk. This year, I'd love to see other well-known sites on that list, such as Plenty of Fish, JDate or Chemistry.com, or up-and-comers that have a lot to offer but don't have a huge following, yet, such as HowAboutWe, easyflirt, or Engage.

Want to nominate a dating site that, you feel, offers the best overall experience for singles today? Feel free to comment on this post, or fill in this form: 2012 Best Overall Dating Site.


about.com | 05-Feb-2012 01:17

What To Do For St. Valentine's Day?

With only ten days to go, I'm getting a lot of questions about St. Valentine's Day. Where should we go? What should we do? What do I do with a gift that I bought in anticipation for February 14th now that we broke up? How do I honor a day of love when I'm not feeling very loving or lovable? And the most asked question of late: How do I meet someone before St. Valentine's Day?

Because of (and to answer) these questions, I'll be blogging lots on the topic in the next few days. For now however, I've posted a What To Do For St. Valentine's Day index. Have I missed anything? Let me know in the comments.


about.com | 04-Feb-2012 01:49

Reader Asks For Some Senior Dating Help

Stuart is a 60-something single gay man who hasn't dated in over 30 years, mostly because he's been taking care of an ailing parent in a challenging situation. He's eager to meet someone, and specifically wants to find a kindred soul that understands his unique situation - but he has no idea where to start, much less how to navigate the senior dating waters - which admittedly are very different from those we tread in during our 20s, 30s, and beyond.

Stuart would like suggestions on how to find someone as well as how to make time for a new relationship, and is eager to hear from other singles in similar life circumstances, especially those who identify as being gay or bisexual. I've got my own ideas for Stuart which I've posted (When Taking Care of an Ailing Parent, How Do You Date?), but I'd love to hear what you think.

Related: How To Meet a Guy (for Gay Men), Healthy Senior Sex


about.com | 31-Jan-2012 16:47

Readers' Choice Award Nominations

A few years ago, About.com's Guide to Instant Messaging started his own Readers' Choice Awards, where the most devoted IM fans nominated, and then voted, on a plethora of their favorite things, all related to Instant Messaging. Three years later, more than 100 About.com Guides are taking part - along with me, your Guide to Dating.

This is the second year that I'm running these awards, and I think I've got a great list of categories that covers many of the major online dating sites. There are quite a few to choose from - nominate someone in all categories, just one, or any combination that works for you - but I may have missed a few. Feel free to email me if you think I should add another next year. Also, please note that you'll have to log in to nominate, but you can nominate as many sites as you like, as many times as you like once you have.

Our categories for this year's Readers' Choice Awards for Dating, are:

There are also a few other categories and sites with dating-related nomination categories:

There are however lots of other categories that aren't dating-related, so be sure to vote for your favorites. Nominations for the 2012 Readers' Choice Awards close February 15th, 2012, so stay tuned via RSS or the newsletter to hear which dating sites, books, blogs, and apps made the finals and eventually won.


about.com | 29-Jan-2012 22:11

Getting Crafty For Valentine's Day

I'm not a huge Valentine's Day person, I'll admit. But the year that the guy I was dating at the time made me both a gift (a photo book) and dinner (a luxurious all-out affair) is one that I'll never, ever forget. So if you're the crafty type who wants to make something special for your sweetie - or hey, even for yourself if you're single - then some of my fellow Guides here at About.com have the digs:

Valentine's Day Knitting Projects
My favorite? The 'hugs and kisses' XOXO scarf, which I've knit a few times myself.

Beaded Safety Pin Patterns
Maybe for the younger set, but still fun nonetheless.

DIY Sexy Valentine's Day Gifts
A whole host of fun, exciting and very sexy ideas to make for your partner.

Valentine's Day Quilts
Ok, you might not have time to make a whole quilt before February 14th, but maybe you do if you start now? Quilters, you'll have to chime in on this one.

Valentine's Day Soap Projects
Ooh, yummy. Ok I think I might have to try a few of these myself. Not for my partner. No, no. For myself! Hm, or maybe I'll try making these cocoa butter massage bars instead.

Fabric Heart Treat Bag
From our Guide to Sewing, a cute little bag to make that could hold something small but significant.

Valentine's Day Pottery Projects
A vase to hold those valentine's day flowers perhaps?

Valentine's Day Painting Projects
Wow, there's a huge list of ideas and projects to choose from here, most of which are perfect for beginners.

Valentine's Day Jewelry Making Projects
A three page list of jewelry projects, mostly for women, that are skewed from beginners to advanced levels.

Draw a Manga Valentine's Day Card
Unusual but perfect for the manga-lover in your life.

Crocheted Valentine's Day Arrangement
With a few flowers from your garden, this would make a lovely gift.

Free Bead Patterns for Valentine's Day
A handful of cute, small projects from the Guide to Beadwork.

Love Coupons
Inexpensive and easy enough for anyone to do, you can use the list of ideas presented here or make your own. Make Your Own Valentine's Day Cards
So much more personal when you do it yourself, with the help of some ink and stamps.

Create a Romantic Presentation
Alright, so its not quite crafty, but it is DIY. Use Powerpoint to make your partner a Valentine's Day themed presentation with the tips and tricks suggested here.


about.com | 28-Jan-2012 02:02

Couples Dating

Several websites have recently cropped up that cater to couples looking to meet other couples for friendship, according to The Times Argus and The Telegraph.

The concept is simple: couples wanting to meet other couples for social encounters (not adult dating or swinging, however - there are many sites that cater to that niche market already) can sign up, log in, and create a profile for the kind of couple they are looking for. Think of it as Friendster for couples, or as both of the websites mentioned above call it: couples dating.

I may have been single for a while, but I would never have thought of using a website when in a relationship to meet other couples for friendship, and was surprised to see how many already exist - although all of them are still building their user bases. Kupple already has more than 2500 couples listed, Couplets is offering free memberships to anyone who joins before the site hits 2500 members, Couplicity.com is offering a free six month membership to build its user base, and CouplesWorldWide.com offers free memberships to anyone who hosts a couples dating event in their community.

Do you think couples dating is the newest trend in social networking sites? And for those of you in a dating relationship, would you sign up at one of these couples dating sites to meet new people?


about.com | 27-Jan-2012 01:06

Romantic Valentine's Day Travel or Romantic Staycation?

If you or your sweetie have been dropping hints this year to go somewhere special this Valentine's Day, now is the time to plan and book your romantic getaway - or a staycation if the idea suits your pocketbook or work requirements more. Some ideas:

And what about those of you staying home this Valentine's Day? I've got a host of cheap Valentine's Day ideas compiled already, as well as a list of romantic Valentines Day ideas. Some of my favorites:
  • Buy some massage oils or bars (Buy Direct) and make a night of working through a whole book devoted to the subject together, such as Sensual Massage Made Simple (Buy Direct).
  • Gather together the fixings for each of your favorite sundae toppings, and then have fun making the ultimate masterpiece for each other instead of doing it yourself.
  • Play a couples game together, letting the winner choose his or her prize beforehand. Perhaps breakfast in bed, or a fantasy lived out? Its your choice.
  • Ladies, there are a great many Valentine's Day costumes to dress up in, or both of you could dress up and play out some of your more original or unique daydreams with your partner. (For costume ideas, try the Halloween Costumes for Couples or Singles articles - some of the singles options are particular sexy and appropriate).

      • Are you going away this Valentine's Day, or stay at home and spend some quality time with the person you're dating?


about.com | 25-Jan-2012 23:27

Low Income Mothers Don't Trust Men

... or so says a study shared in the Journal of Marriage and Family, as reported by Science News. Almost all of the participants in the study (96%!) were found to have "strong distrust" of the opposite sex, yet when asked about their current relationship, they stated it was of a "trusting" nature. As well, the distrust of said men didn't stop these low income women from entering into romantic, long term relationships.

I have to say that reading this study made me pause, as did the friends I shared it with. The actual information didn't surprise any of us. Rather, the percentage of women is what was frightening. Do virtually all lower income women find men untrustworthy? And if so, why are they entering into relationships with essentially the same gender they have obvious unresolved issues with?

The study went on to say that because of this mismatched trust (feeling distrustful of men in general but stating that their current relationship was trustworthy) put the women who were a part of the study at further risk for unhealthy relationships, basically doing whatever they had to to give their partner the benefit of the doubt.

What do you think about the findings of this study? What would you suggest to low income moms, or the men who date them, in response to this study?

Related: When Not To Date


about.com | 20-Jan-2012 03:33

Is He Always Going To Think Of Me As The Crazy Girl?

Rani asks: My best friend got me and her childhood friend to start talking, but he lives 6 hours away from me and I've never met him. He told her initially he's not looking for a girlfriend, which was cool because I figured we could be friends. We talked for hours on the phone. For 4 months we were close. Then he started saying things like, I can't wait to see you, you're so interesting, you're my best friend. That got me really excited, and I thought maybe he meant as more than just friends.

I'd planned to meet him at a wedding near his place as a friend of mine had invited me. I told him about it, but then on the advice of my friends started playing games and told him I wanted to meet him, and then told him I didn't... I was all over the map. And then I read He's Just Not That Into You, which got me really depressed. This girl in the book said, "I got empowered and I said I don't need to talk to you anymore," so that night I texted him confessing that I was into him and that it sucks when the guy your into doesn't like you back. For 2-3 weeks after that he didn't call.

I contacted him to see what was up because I got impatient, and he told me he was sorry for everything but just wanted to be friends. So we talked for two hours, and he said he might be coming with my brother to visit soon but, "Don't go all nuts on me if I don't". I told him I'm cool - and I want to SHOW him that I'm cool. I regret playing games with this guy and really want to see him more than anything in the world. Do you think I can get him back, or is he always going to think of me as the crazy girl?

Oh Rani, I do feel for you. I get a lot of these kinds of emails every week, the "I acted crazy now how do I fix it?" kind of requests. Unfortunately, there isn't much I can suggest to you that you'll want to hear. If the two of you had been in a relationship for six months? My answer might be different, but not by much.

My advice is to take a huge step back from this guy. He's already got it in his head he's not into you like that, and with a six hour difference between where the two of you live, I doubt that will change. Plus, with your admitted "crazy girl' antics, it makes anything romantic that much harder.

I understand that you feel this guy is worth it, but there are many people in this world that you'll meet throughout your travels that will wow you. I think its time to take a step back and really get over this guy - get over a relationship that was nothing more than a friendship, because at no point did you ever meet, nor did he say he was into you - and start living your life for YOU. What struck me the most in your question was all of the maneuvering you were trying to do - from seeing him in the first place, to arranging to meet after the whole blow up so he'd see you weren't crazy. It's time to take a break from this guy and start doing things for YOU. Forget if he'll be somewhere or not. Forget trying to arrange your schedules. Forget about even interacting with the guy until you honestly feel like you can be just friends.

It's time to take your power back. Focus on getting yourself to a place of happiness with or without a guy and work on cultivating your self esteem. Spend some time mourning the relationship that could have been, kick the relationship bad habits, and make sure you've figured out some boundaries for yourself for the next time someone you like comes along. Then, be your amazing, feel good self - and you won't feel the need to play games to get a guy, because they'll be flocking to get YOUR attention.

Related: Self Esteem Quiz, Does He Like Me As A Friend Or More?, What Not To Do After A Breakup, Am I Ready To Date Again?,


about.com | 17-Jan-2012 18:18

How Long Do You Wait To Have Sex?

A handful of reader questions of late have focused on sex: when to have it, what frequency is normal, and what to do if one partner isn't into it. Coupled with some recent research study findings that women are seeking more casual dating relationships, and ...

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about.com | 16-Jan-2012 14:30

The 2012 Dating Readers' Choice Awards

For year two of the Dating Readers' Choice Awards, I'd like to add a significant number of categories for you, the readers, to nominate and vote upon as being your favorites. These are the categories we started with last year, and with links to the respective nominees and winners:

During the nomination period, I had several dating site owners, readers and experts suggest other categories that I'd missed, and so I took note to add them to this year's list. Therefore, the new categories for the Dating Readers' Choice Awards, are:

Nominations open January 18th, 2012 for this year's awards, so I'll post the forms and final categories soon. Until then, what do you think, dear readers? Have I forgotten an important category in the dating world that needs adding? Are there too many categories?


about.com | 06-Jan-2012 23:05

Dating New Years Resolutions

Do you have any dating-related New Years resolutions this year? I've solicited singles, couples and experts for their views and ideas, creating two New Years resolution lists that I think will be helpful to a lot of readers:

A couple of the suggestions - such as 39-year-old Megan Reese's of creating a 'Man Plan' for her dating life - are extensive yet focused, while others are simple shifts in one's worldview to improve either the relationships we are attracting, or those we already have. And then there is a whole other level of New Years resolution, and I've found one that is so above and beyond the norm (but fascinating!) that it deserved more than just a quick quip in an article.

The first comes from best selling authors and challenge creators Pastor Kerry Shook and his wife Chris. Their book, One Month to Live, suggest that those wanting a dramatic shift in their lives just need to think about what they'd do if they only had thirty days left. From one of their press releases:

"Arguably, resolutions fail because there's no sense of urgency. With a whole year ahead to reach the goal, it's easy to relegate it to the back burner or forget about it altogether. Indeed, in one study nearly 40 percent of respondents cite having too many other things to do as the reason for breaking their resolutions. But what if instead of just making resolutions you acted as if you had only 30 days to live and to really make a difference in your life?"

What about you? Have you ever gone to extreme lengths to find a date? Would you? Have you resolved to improve about your dating life or relationship for 2012?


about.com | 28-Dec-2011 01:58

Attracting Positive Relationships

"Energy flows where attention goes."

A Huna saying that has found a new set of followers through the book, "The Secret", this is what was emblazoned on a bookmark I received for Christmas a few years back from a dear friend. And although I've heard the phrase before, for some reason this time I can't get it out of my head.

Like many singles, I too get stuck sometimes thinking about the "nts" in my dating life. Some of the ones I've heard recently from readers:

  • I don't feel attractive/skinny/smart enough;
  • Why couldn't s/he have given me a chance/been faithful/trusted me;
  • I'll never find a date/love/satisfaction in a relationship...

You get my jist. We all have our 'nts', and some are a bit more challenging than others. But what if we were to ignore those 'nts', just for a couple of days, and focus instead on what we want to bring into our lives, essentially attracting the kind of energy/relationship we're looking for?

About.com's Guide to Holistic Healing has written a lovely article about Attracting Positives, using a technique that focuses on surrounding yourself with positive images, whether they be physical, mental or spiritual manifestations. I think I'll create my own little Book of Positives, kind of like the one in Queen Latifah's movie, Last Holiday as my gift to myself these next few days. My pre- New Years' resolution, if you will.

What about you? How do you stay positive when dating, or looking for love? What techniques have worked for you?

More on this topic: Relationship Expectations

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about.com | 24-Dec-2011 02:26

Being Alone During the Holidays

A few times in my life, I've had nothing to do for Christmas, or during the holiday season in general. Both of my parents passed away when I was young, and I've always felt self-conscious inviting myself over to a friends' place for Christmas dinner. Throughout the years I've done various things to keep me busy, distracting myself from the thought of being alone:

  • Creating a tradition to share with a friend, which at the time was going to see an animated or kids movie in the theater on Christmas Day;
  • Volunteering at a soup kitchen or Meals on Wheels;
  • Watching sappy, romantic holiday movies; and/or
  • Inviting everyone I knew over for Christmas dinner.

    • Some years however, like this one, I've found myself grieving a loss and not feeling much like celebrating. Friends and family have kept me cheerful, and the Secret Santa exchanges I participated in this year warmed my heart. One gesture in particular from a group of my colleagues here at About.com made me feel more grateful, humble and thankful than I have in years, and I can't thank them enough. It reminded me that people do care and want to help those struggling in any way they can.

    So for those of you feeling alone this time of year and with whatever celebration you normally recognize, this post is for you. I've written an article about Being Alone During the Holidays in response to this feeling I've had since mid November-ish, and I hope it provides assistance and comfort to those who need it. For everyone else, I'd love it if you shared how you cope with being single, alone, or otherwise sad during the Christmas season, or how you're currently struggling with it and how you plan on working through it.


about.com | 23-Dec-2011 23:08

Finding Passion and Inspiration In Our Dating Lives

Last night, I went to see Prince. The ticket price was well over what I've ever paid for a concert in the past, and I was somewhat leery that I'd get my money's worth. Once I arrived at the arena however, I had nothing to worry about. When I got to my seat I was both flabbergasted and overwhelmed: I was maybe a foot or two from the stage, at eye level of The Artist himself, and smack in front of the piano - right where a lot of the action took place. I was so close, I could hear him singing without the microphone at times, could see the sweat on his brow, and all of his facial expressions, little moments and other tidbits that folks sitting further away missed completely. I laughed, I cried, I sang and danced, and felt inspired, passionate, and alive. It was worth every penny.

So what does this have to do with this dating blog? For me, lots. I want to help create that sort of feeling, excitement, and passion in all of you, just like Prince did for me last night. And although I'll never be a rock star, I'd like to think that what I write here helps people, makes their lives better, and helps us all to find, keep, maintain and nourish the kinds of relationships we all long for.

So I ask you, dear readers: What can I, or any dating blogger or expert for that matter, do create that kind of positive energy in your life, in your relationships, and in your heart?


about.com | 18-Dec-2011 22:54

Christmas Music and Your Partner

There's a lot of holiday-themed posts on my Facebook page of late, but none that grabbed my attention as much as one about Christmas music. Without breaking any confidences, the person posting stated they love this time of year and the happy feelings it engenders in many of us,but that if they had to listen to one more Christmas tune from their partner's playlist, they'd go berserk.

What followed was a fun debate about what kinds of Christmas music was appropriate to share, and which tunes make us all cringe and wonder why we're in a relationship with the person enjoying said music in the first place. Some folks bemoaned the Celine Deon, Jessica Simpson and Justin Bieber Christmas CDs, while others suggested trying the holiday editions of Annie Lennox, Rat Pack and Putumayo. While I don't normally listen to Christmas music at all, I'm quite fond of Vince Guaraldi's A Charlie Brown Christmas, or Boney M's Christmas Album. For me, a tad odd, since these are both CDs that came out well before my time, and don't fall within my normal music-listening spectrum.

What about you? Do you enjoy listening to the same holiday tunes as your partner, or do you cringe each time they load their playlist, CD player or start signing along to the radio?

Related: Top 10 New Pop Christmas Albums for 2011, Essential Classic Rock Christmas Albums, Top 15 Country Christmas Albums, R&B Christmas Albums, Top 15 Alternative Christmas Albums, Top 10 Classical Music Christmas Albums, Top 5 Rap and Hip Hop Albums for Christmas, The Best Blues Christmas Music, Top 10 World Music Christmas Albums, Canadian Christmas CDs.


about.com | 17-Dec-2011 03:05

Dating While Snowed In

I currently live on an island - one that doesn't often get snow, much less temperatures in the freezing range. And yet, one early, sleeping night, I woke up to huge fluffy white flakes everywhere.

I'm sure I'm not the only single snowed who feels snowed in (even if the snow didn't stick), wishing he or she were out and about meeting new people, socializing, working, or planning Christmas party shenanigans. And I'm also quite positive there are more than a few dating couples who are also frustrated, either unable to get to their partner's place or feeling cooped up with nothing to do together.

Although I love the snow (as I'm sure the local ski hill does as well), I sometimes find it challenging to get out and socialize when it's as cold as it is here today. Once I actually get to my cozy destination however, I'm usually quite content with wherever I've ended up -- until I need to go back outside again. So I coax myself home with the knowledge that a good book and a comforting soup are waiting for me at home to curl up with.

I've heard several stories of late from readers and friends who've admitted they met the person they are dating during inclement weather, or who were out enjoying activities only partaken during the winter months, such as skiing or ice fishing. I even heard from one couple who met during a snow camping expedition for an Outward Bound -type organization.

What about you? Do you find it harder to meet people when the weather is challenging? Do you use nasty outside temperatures as an excuse to spend more time with the person you are dating?

Related:


about.com | 14-Dec-2011 15:26

Being a Sappy Single During the Holidays

It's during the holidays that, when single, I become a huge sap. Even if I'm happy not being in a relationship, I still find I long for a partnership during the holidays.

Readers of this blog already know I'm a romantic at heart, even if recent studies are showing more and more people are favoring a lifestyle of hooking up, casual sex and friends with benefits instead of actual dating (see The Definition of Dating and The Death of Dating? for more on this topic).

Having said all of that, this doesn't mean that I'll jump into a relationship because I'm feeling a bit lonely by myself under the mistletoe. Being swept off one's feet by a romantic stranger just seems better in the movies sometimes -- which is why, whenever I find myself in this frame of mind, I watch movies like While You Were Sleeping and When Harry Met Sally. Again.

I don't normally go out of my way to watch romantic comedies, or even sappy romances for that matter. Yet during the holidays, I can't seem to get enough of the romantic holiday movie fare. Especially when I'm single.

Am I the only one, or do other singles feel this twinge of something or other this time of year? What do you do about it, if anything at all?


about.com | 08-Dec-2011 01:33

Poll Shows 1 in 3 Women Would End Their Relationship Over a Bad Holiday Gift

Just over five thousand users of dating website FreeDating.co.uk were polled a few years back, asking if they'd end a relationship because of a bad gift that holiday season, with 36% of all female respondents answering a resounding, "Yes!" Only 17% of the men answering the poll answered the same.

What was a "bad" gift, in the pollsters' minds? Some examples included, "cooking utensils, cleaning products, and a sticky tape dispenser".

Interestingly, highly educated women and women working in the legal profession had even higher requirements, with two thirds of respondents in those categories stating they'd dump their partner for poor present choices.

What about you? Would you end a relationship over a bad holiday gift? Have you ever received a gift that you deemed in poor taste and ended a relationship because of it? What did you get?

Related: Romantic Stocking Stuffers, Inexpensive Holiday Gift Ideas, Holiday Gift Ideas for Dating Couples.


about.com | 06-Dec-2011 15:09

Stubbly Men More Appealing, Says Study

Psychology Today had an interesting article in their November 2008 edition that spoke of how men with either a bit of stubble or a short beard were more attractive than a clean-shaven or fully bearded man, and that guys with longer facial hair were deemed more manly, powerful, aggressive and seasoned than their baby-faced counterparts.

There was a caveat to the study however: the sixty women interviewed found the men with light stubble the most suitable for both short and long term relationships, which the article explained away as saying stubble means you're mature enough to have facial hair, but a full beard is too much of a good thing. Still, several of the study participants felt the need to share with the researchers at Northumbria University that, even though they found a clean-shaven man less attractive, they preferred their partners to have a smooth face when they were intimate together.

What do you think? Do men with a bit of stubble appeal to you more, or would you rather they sport a clean-shaven look?

For More Information:

Reference: Hutson, M. (2008, November). In the Rough. Psychology Today, 41(6), 24-24.


about.com | 27-Nov-2011 17:13

Will Your Love Last?

Its rare that a week goes by where I don't get asked by a reader through the dating forums or dating advice request form whether or not I think their ...

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about.com | 25-Nov-2011 00:39

What Are You Thankful For?

A recent blog post by HowAboutWe, a dating site matching people based on their date ideas (i.e. How about we... go snow golfing?), got me laughing. In it, writer Chiara Atik discusses what her single friends and family members are thankful for this year. My favorite included a bit of salty language, but still one I think many single folks can admit to feeling at some point: "I'm thankful I'm no longer dating an ****." Replace the stars with any number of negative words and you'll get the jist.

The article reminded me of a time when, years ago, I gave a workshop about dating, and in turn, getting over your ex. At one point I asked everyone to come up with something they were grateful for, in relation to their dating life. Most of the folks had something amazing to say, such as they loved the time and money they had now to spend on themselves, or even small things like they didn't have to leave the seat down or up. One man waited until the very end, and said quietly, "She left me for my best friend." No one said anything for maybe 30 seconds, until a woman next to him gently touched his shoulder and said in the same tone of voice, "Well, then you should be grateful she's HIS problem now!"

We all got a laugh out of that, and it helped diffuse the tension. Every year when I think of Thanksgiving, I think of that story, my Thanksgiving date disaster story, and now this HowAboutWe blog post.

What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving in relation to your dating life, whether coupled up, single, or somewhere in between?


about.com | 22-Nov-2011 23:47

Singles' Secret Santa

A few days ago while researching an article I'm working on about the history of advice columnists, I came across a piece about the man who took over for Ann Landers, Jeffrey Zaslow. The journalist commented on Zaslow's reach, including his ability to ensure that no letter to Santa went unanswered by asking his readers to pitch in.

That got me thinking about being single during the holidays, and how to feel connected to the world if you don't have family nearby (or even if you do and aren't close). I know that, for the years I was single and childless, I really had to get creative to feel like I was a part of something bigger than myself. For many years, I volunteered at soup kitchen -type events on Christmas Day, and as a teen I helped deliver care packages to local low income families for organizations like the Salvation Army and Meals on Wheels.

All of those activities made me feel good, and I was more than happy to share what I could. Call it selfish or whatever you'd like however, but more than once all I really wanted was a gift under the tree that I didn't buy for myself. Other years, I wanted nothing more than to have a reason to go buy or make a gift for someone else, taking my time to share something memorable.

Many of you can probably see where my brain lept to next: a secret Santa exchange. It seems like a natural conclusion, yet the logistics and legal issues stopped me from moving forward. Yes, I could use something like Elfster to create my own Secret Santa gift exchange for all of you, my dear readers, and I seriously considered it. But then I did a search for other, similar, random gift exchanges, and found that Reddit has their own gift exchange, and they're trying to break the Guinness Book of World Records this year for the largest Secret Santa exchange ever.

So without further ado, I invite you all to join me in this year's Secret Santa exchange at Reddit. I've used my referral code here not to get anything from it, other than to give you all a (cursory) connection to me and my account, without any access to my personal information. Unless of course you sign up by the deadline (November 25th) and get me as a match, or I get one of you in turn.

What I do suggest, for those wanting to partake, is to read the fine print carefully before signing up. No one but your matched gift giver will have your contact information, but they will have your address and both first and last name. As well, if you don't send a gift (and keep proof of such), your full name will be posted on the Reddit site for all to see.

Having said all that, there were some pretty amazing gifts shared through this process last year. If nothing else, check those out and let me know what you think. Good idea, or not?


about.com | 17-Nov-2011 22:46

When Do You Take Down Your Online Dating Profiles?

Roy S. Gutterman wrote a great (although somewhat unrelated) article a few years ago at the Jewish Exponent, discussing what he felt to be a "bogus" online dating profile. It seems a newspaper wedding announcement struck him as odd for a couple of days,

"...until I went on to JDate, and saw the same photo for the 30-something woman whose impending nuptials were just announced in the paper. It seemed peculiar that she was maintaining an active profile on the online dating site. In fact, she had just logged on within the past few days."

Which led me to question: when do people remove (or hide) their online dating profiles after starting a relationship with someone new?

Do you have an expectation as to when someone you are dating removes their online dating profiles? Does it even matter to you?

Related: 20 Questions To Ask Your Date About Communication, When Not to Date, Couples Communication Skills Quiz


about.com | 15-Nov-2011 04:18

What Time Of Year Did You Meet the Parents?

When Thanksgiving rolls around, it means the start of Meet the Parents Season - or at least it does for me and many of you, if my email inbox is any indicator, as well as my own personal experiences. A few years back I shared my Thanksgiving date disaster story (and encourage you to share your own date disaster stories). But my question here doesn't revolve around bad dating experiences, but rather, when you met the parents.

What time of year did you meet the parents of your current and/or past loves? Did the holidays push you into meeting the parents earlier than you normally would have? I'd love to hear your experiences by filling out the poll questionnaire, or if your situation doesn't fit the choices, by adding a comment.

Related: Thanksgiving Date Ideas for Couples, Thanksgiving Dinner With Your Partner.


about.com | 13-Nov-2011 01:38

What Are Your Dating Red Flags?

While researching and talking to other dating aficionados about the newly introduced dating boot camp, I spoke with the gent who runs 100RedFlags, a dating blog that discusses "...the small things that women do that drive men away." [Note: The 100RedFlags site is not work-friendly, and uses language that may offend some readers.]

I plan on covering dating red flags in the boot camp eCourse, so of course I wanted to take a closer look. Many of the red flags already listed I agreed with, such as She Wears a Slutty Hallowe'en Costume. Seems fairly straightforward to me.

But once I looked a bit closer at the red flags listed, I started to get confused. "She Was Homeschooled," and "She's Run More Than One Marathon?" "She Carries Condoms In Her Purse," and "She's Never Smoked Pot?" Really?

I disagreed with the blog owner, and sent him a note specifically regarding the last "red flag" (not having smoked pot). Here's his response:

"...absolutely it's a red flag, and believe it or not one of the ones that we've posted/talked about to date is most commonly met with approval amongst guys. It could mean rigid views of the world, it could mean a conservative stance on societal issues. I won't belabor the issue, but maybe will just make it clear that these things are all representative of potential character and lifestyle flaws that would inhibit a healthy, successful relationship. It's quite possible one could say she's never smoked weed and yet can sit across the table on a first date and it'd never even be a thought - but without enough evidence the assumption could still be there and there may never be a date two if women aren't aware that some men may take issue with it."

In the hundreds of men I've worked with and coached with regards to their dating lives, and the thousands that have emailed me throughout the years sharing their opinions, not once have I heard any of these as issues. The ones I most commonly hear from gents focus on larger personality traits that some might find stereotypical (i.e. acting like a princess or being bossy), or frustration with what they feel is a 'bait and switch' (i.e. how you presented yourself isn't really who you are). Rachel Greenwald, who wrote the book, "Why He Didn't Call You Back: 1000 Guys Reveal What They Really Thought About You After Your Date" (Buy Direct) found similar themes.

But, you tell me: what are your dating red flags? Do you agree with the ones presented here, or do you have a differing opinion?

For those of you participating in the dating boot camp, looking for today's installment, here you go: Dating Boot Camp Day One.


about.com | 03-Nov-2011 01:22

Free Dating Boot Camp Announcement

In the four-and-a-half years I've written for About.com, I've had countless readers ask me to create a free, accessible, uplifting and powerful boot camp -type process. Folks wanted a day-by-day and week-by-week series that they could read anytime, find support from other singles just like them, while learning how to take ownership of their dating lives in a positive way.

I've taken your advice, suggestions and ideas, and for the next 90-or-so days, will provide each and every one of you with a daily dose of inspiration and to-do's. Essentially you'll become your own dating coach, with some help from readers just like you, as well as experts, matchmakers, dating-advice-giver-outers like myself.

Tomorrow I'll begin the series, and you can read about it every day in this blog. I'll post links to read and questions to answer, and you can work through it all on your own time. Subscribe now to the RSS feed so you don't miss any updates, or switch your homepage to this blog as a daily reminder.

What will you get from this dating boot camp? Here's an abbreviated list, which I'll update as we progress through the series. The general intent however is to help single men and women disconnect as much as possible from a previous breakup, whether it was a day or ten years ago, and move into a better, more positive, attractive place so they can meet the person of their dreams.

  • Work through any residual issues with past relationships, family, friends and/or loved ones so that you're ready and able to welcome new love into your life;
  • Focus on the positive, without dwelling on the negative or getting 'stuck'. For those who struggle with the more serious blocks to love such as working through a divorce, and you'll get lots of guidance as to where to go next, along with suggestions for professional intervention if need be;
  • Learn what you really want, need and must have in a relationship, as well as how to meet folks that fit your specific criteria;
  • Create a support system both virtually and in real life that will help you to make decisions with regards to love and relationships;
  • How to flirt, ask someone out, where to go and what to do on a first, second, third and beyond date;
  • Concrete advice dealing with long distance relationships, jealousy, confidence, attraction, safety, gift giving, ex's, and more;
  • Help and specific information for folks of all sexual identities, single parents, divorcees, seniors, teens, and more; and
  • How to fight 'fairly' and deal with conflict in your romantic and personal relationships.

I've created a small badge that you can display proudly on all social media, blogs or your personal website, to share with other folks that you've committed to this process. I'll create something bigger ASAP, but in the meantime, feel free to use this badge, making sure to link back the blog post you're reading now:

As well, I'm open to suggestions for content to cover in this dating boot camp, so please feel free to comment honestly and openly here and share your thoughts, or email me directly and privately at dating.guide@about.com.


about.com | 01-Nov-2011 23:51

Dating Articles You May Have Missed in October
Here's a list of content you might have overlooked this month. Have suggestions about what I should cover or answer in November? Feel free to submit an idea using the ...

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about.com | 31-Oct-2011 18:37

Using Props To Attract Someone

I've been told on more than a few occasions that Halloween is the best time of year to meet someone. Why? Because everyone in a costume has a built in conversation starter.

So then why not use this same idea and integrate it into our everyday lives? The concept is an integral one to the pickup artist culture (although they call it peacocking), where the person trying to attract someone wears or has on at least one conversation piece.

Which isn't to say I think you should go all out and become something you aren't. But at the same time, if you can inject some of the fun and frivolity of Halloween into your day to day life, and it allows you to meet someone truly special, why wouldn't you try it and see?

Have you ever used a prop to attract someone? Did it work? Why or why not?


about.com | 24-Oct-2011 03:41

Halloween Dating

I love Halloween and look forward to it every year. An excuse to dress up and act silly, with a built-in reason to talk to strangers, by asking them about their costume? In my mind, it doesn't get much more exciting than that.

Still, it can be a bit stressful to either come up with a unique and fun Halloween date idea or a costume that's appropriate for the two of you [See: Halloween Costume Ideas for Couples]. And what about those of us singles on the hunt for someone interesting? Attracting attention is the first step in the five phases of courtship.

So even though you've got just under two weeks to go, it's time to start thinking about what you'll be doing this Halloween either solo or with your sweetie. What's your plan?


about.com | 17-Oct-2011 07:00

How Do I Ask Her Out?

Shawn asks: "I've started college and there's a girl on my dorm floor that I really like. We don't have any classes together, but we talk all the time in the common area. It's at the point where I go to study in there just to see her, and then we end up talking for hours. The last time I saw her, she went on and on about some guy she had a crush on, but then found out he wasn't old enough to drink so she wanted to move on. Am I in the friend zone, or is there some way I can ask her out?"

Bonny's answer: There's an easy way to find out if she's open to dating you, and that's by asking her point blank if she'd like to go on a date. The next time you see her, try something like, "I had a great time talking the other night. How about we do it again on Thursday, but this time over dinner?"

It's simple, easy, and lets her say no if she's not interested, doesn't want to date someone who lives so close to her, or is still really interested in that other guy and just wanted your opinion on the matter. If she says no, you can assume it has nothing to do with you, and it saves you both from feeling embarrassed when you inevitably run into one another again. If she says yes, you know she's interested - at least a little bit. But if you don't ask at all? You'll never know, and you'll slide deeper and deeper into friends-only territory, with no hopes of ever getting past conversation starters alone.

There's a Pick Up Artist (PUA) "rule" that you have to talk to a woman you're interested in within a few seconds of seeing her. The longer you wait, the more difficult the introduction gets and the less chance you have of getting the girl. Now, I'm not asking you to start studying to become a PUA, but I am suggesting you keep this one tactic in mind when talking to this girl again. The longer you wait, the harder the approach, and the less chance you'll have of dating her.

What do you think, dear readers? Would you give Shawn different advice, or do you agree with what I've said?

Related: College Dating, Pick Up Artist Blogs, Dinner and a Movie Date Ideas.


about.com | 11-Oct-2011 06:16

Are There No 'Real' Dating Sites Left?

LJ posted a comment in the "Are There Any Legitimate Adult Dating Sites Left" blog post saying that "there are NO real dating sites left," and then discussed DatingSiteBuilder.com, which creates a site from scratch for anyone willing to pay their $29.95+ fee. I started to reply in the comments, but then thought this conversation deserved a blog post all its own. Especially since the original post about adult dating sites spoke more toward the difficulty in meeting real people as opposed to fake bots, whereas this discussion focuses more on the databases dating sites use to show they have a large membership.

Here's the thing: there are, literally, hundreds of companies providing similar services to DatingSiteBuilder.com. Anyone can buy a template dating site or dating site script. All it takes is some money (ranging from $20-several thousand, depending), a URL, and somewhere to host the site if the fee doesn't already cover web hosting space. That isn't to say that *all* dating sites use this tactic; most of the bigger players don't, i.e. PlentyOfFish, Match.com, OkCupid, eHarmony, etc.

To confuse matters even more, many of the larger dating sites buy up smaller sites, or start new dating sites that look different, but share the same database of singles or members. Case in point: an email from a reader earlier this week, who wanted to tell me that Fling.com, Adult Friend Finder and Friend Finder all share the same member list. How did she find out? She paid for one of the more adult dating sites and unknowingly emailed Friend Finder subscribers, who had no idea their profiles were being shown on the casual sex sister-sites. I have to admit the reader was a tad lucky; she didn't accidentally contact anyone from BigChurch, which is also owned by the same parent site, Penthouse.com. I'm not making fun of this reader, or anyone else who doesn't know it's common practice to "co-mingle" users from different sites. I'd be appalled if in the same situation, especially if I had moral convictions against BDSM (Alt.com, another Penthouse site) or casual sex (NoStringsAttached.com).

So what's a single person to do? One who wants to know the dating site they signed up for doesn't share databases with other companies they might not agree with, or want their information shared with? And, do any 'real' dating sites really exist anymore?

To answer the second question, first: yes, there are lots of 'real' dating sites, you just need to know how to look to find out - which answers the first question as well. The easiest way to find out if the site belongs to another, larger parent company? Scroll down to the very bottom of the dating site's main/home page, and look for either a copyright notice (usually by the parent company) or a link for a Privacy Policy and/or Terms of Service. Any one of these three items will show who owns the dating site, and therefore who they probably share a database - or at the very least, drew their site layout from.

Let me use an example to show you. Match.com is a well-known dating site that owns many, many other dating sites. Most of the dating sites owned entirely by Match.com on their "Network" share a database. How can you tell? When you scroll down to the very bottom at Match.com, you'll see the company is owned by "People Media." Okay, so who are they? A quick Google search shows they are the parent company of Match.com, and others like BlackPeopleMeet.com. So I went to look at BlackPeopleMeet.com, and found out via their privacy page that, "Members of the Network Websites are part of the same online community and profiles on any Network Website are viewable on the other Network Websites and paying subscribers will be able to communicate with other paying subscribers on all Network Websites." There are only a few exceptions to this network sharing dealio, such as OkCupid (who was bought out by Match.com earlier this year, but last I heard, still keeps all of its management, layout and membership base separate from Match.com.)

If I haven't confused you entirely, I'd love to know: is it a problem for you if the dating site you use shares a database with other dating sites, even if those dating sites aren't something you'd normally want an association with? Do you think there aren't any 'real' dating sites left because of all this sharing, or...?


about.com | 10-Oct-2011 23:39

Why Would She Choose a Casual Relationship Over a Serious One?

Scott wants to know what he can do about a woman he's recently reunited with after a 30-year absence. She can't decide between dating Scott - knowing he wants something long-term and potentially lifelong - and the casual, going-nowhere relationship she's been in and out of for years.

For the details (as well as my in-depth answer) take a peek at Why Can't She Decide Between a Casual Fling or Something More? In the meantime, what would you recommend to Scott, a gentleman who can't fathom why a woman wouldn't choose a long-term and stable relationship over an ongoing fling? Have you been in a similar position? What did you do?


about.com | 05-Oct-2011 02:55

Should You Take a Dating Break?

Is there ever a good time to take a break from dating?

In a word, yes. Sometimes our priorities change, life throws us a curveball, or we start getting bitter, angry and/or jaded with the dating process. Re-evaluating whether or not we're ready to date again can take a while, especially with busy lives, kids or other things that make our lives colorful yet, well, jam-packed.

Have you ever taken a break from dating? If so, why? When and how did you know it was time to start dating again?


about.com | 04-Oct-2011 06:16

Dating Articles You May Have Missed in September
When September rolls around, many of us get busy with back-to-school or fall activities, and thus might miss out on some information that they would otherwise find important. So, here's ...

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about.com | 01-Oct-2011 00:26

Why Would He Have an Open Condom In His Truck?

Mercedes asks, "What does it mean if you find an unwrapped condom in your boyfriends truck, and he says his friend accidentally left it there because he lent out his truck so the friend could see a girl?"

Touchy question Mercedes, and a lot of how I'd answer this dating question depends on your relationship about both how the information was shared, as well as how it went down. Have you been dating more than six months, or is this a relatively new relationship? Has your boyfriend given you reason not to trust him before? Are the two of you using condoms? Have you been tested recently for STDs? Does your boyfriend routinely lend out his truck to friends for similar reasons? Was the condom merely unwrapped or (ick) used?

These types of situations are always shocking to someone who didn't see it coming no matter how solid your relationship is or how long you've been dating. Sure, your boyfriend could have warned you that he lent out his truck before the nasty surprise, but if he really did do as he's saying, then its also not unheard of to have that kind of detail slip his mind either. I'll talk more about this in a moment.

At the same time, you don't want to be risking your sexual health with a man who isn't trustworthy either. Has he given you reason to be suspicious before? Have you been going through a rocky patch? Has he shown any other signs of cheating? If he has, I'd be both having a discussion with him about it as well as not having unprotected sex with the man. But if he's given you no other reason to question him, why would you start now?

But what do you think dear readers? Should Mercedes be worried, has she not given us enough information, or are there other things you'd suggest she try?


about.com | 25-Sep-2011 02:17

She Doesn't Want To Have Sex With Me Anymore

Julian asks: "I have been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now, and since the beginning we have been having sex. All of a sudden though, she tells me that she does not want to "disrespect" her body and that she does not want us having sex anymore. I feel like she should not have made such a big decision that affects both of us without even talking to me about it beforehand. I love her very much and to me the sex was a way of showing that love. It seems to me that if a relationship was sexually active, and that factor is suddenly taken away, the relationship can't be expected to be the same. Any advice?"

I agree that your relationship with your girlfriend cannot be the same as it was before, as what sounds like a big part of the way the two of you share your affection was through sexual intercourse has now been removed from the equation. However, I think that having sex or not having sex isn't the question.

Yes, it would have been much easier and kinder if your girlfriend to have talked to you about what was going through her mind before she made a decision. When you enter into a relationship with someone, part of that process is agreeing that any major decisions that affect the both of you are discussed, first. Someone gets offered their dream job 400 miles away, an ex invites you to their wedding, or who to spend the holidays with are all conversations better had, together, before a decision has been made.

Sex however is a tricky one, because for many people it is very difficult to talk to their partner about their needs and wants. Using the word "disrespect" tells me that your girlfriend has been struggling with this for some time and needs you to understand her dilemma. It wasn't easy for her I'm sure to tell you about her decision, but I'll hazard a guess that it had very little to do with you. Rather, some outside force is "telling" her that sex is shameful, bad or not to be shared with someone she isn't married to. Problem is, it doesn't sound like you know which category her decision falls into.

Ask her why she feels sex is disrespectful to her body, and try to really listen to what she's saying. I know its difficult to hear from the person you love that they want to stop an important aspect of your relationship, but if you want to make things work with this woman, you are going to have to bite your tongue (and pride) and find out the reasons why she feels this way. When did this become a problem, and why? What is she hoping to gain from not having sex with you anymore? Is all affection off limits (kissing, touching, hand holding), or just sex itself? Has she talked to a mental health professional, medical expert, sex therapist or someone in her religion and/or family about her decision?

Once you have a better idea as to what the reasoning is behind her decision, you can sit down together and talk about how a sexless relationship will affect the both of you, and whether or not it is something you can go back to. I know of women who have stopped having sex with their partners to prompt a marriage proposal, others who have found a religious calling, and yet others who were feeling depressed and didn't find sex at all satisfying anymore. Whatever her reason, you'll have to weigh your feelings on the matter, see if the two of you can come to a compromise (or at the very least get some professional help on the matter), and if not, determine whether or not your relationship can evolve into something new or if it is time for the two of you to part ways.

Related: Should We Take This Relationship To The Next Level Or Breakup?, The Problem of Desire in Long Term Relationships.


about.com | 23-Sep-2011 20:26

Dating Question About Exclusivity

Confused City Girl asks, "I have been seeing this guy for about 4 months now whom I met from a Craigslist ad that I had posted stating that I was looking for an awesome boyfriend. This guy replies with an awesome e-mail and was very cute too so I make plans to go out on a date with him. We clicked immediately and have been seeing each other since then. We have been to concerts together, spent many nights together, planned a vacation next month, I have even met his family and they love me.

A while ago I noticed that his Facebook and MySpace claim he is still single. I didn't let it bother me too much but I did feel a bit hurt. Recently I have noticed that his text messages are less frequent and much less romantic than they had been. He has also been claiming to need a lot of alone time because he has only been out a long term relationship a few months longer than knowing me.

Last weekend I was at his apartment like normal and went on his computer which is also normal. I noticed in his browser that there was a new saved link that was for OKCupid and I decided to click on it. Well, it automatically signed me into his account that was full of new pictures and a ton of e-mails back and forth with numerous women. He has corresponded with well over 50 women since meeting me. He also sent out an e-mail saying he was looking for a woman to wine and dine and possibly pleasure while he was away on business. He has recently met women for drinks and has told me nothing of it and also told me many of nights we aren't together that he is just hanging out at home or playing music (he is in a band) and so forth.

I was very upset and devastated, so I called him on the phone and tell him to come home if he can and he does. He tells me that he just wants to make sure that I am the right one for him and that he does not have the same feelings for any of these women like he does for me. He says he had planned on dating a lot of different women before he met me. He says that he probably loves me and definitely adores me and that he is almost ready to just be with me. He does not feel like he did anything wrong because he never specifically told me that he was not dating other people. I will admit that I assumed that he wasn't because he seems so into me.

My question is this: do you think he is just wanting his cake and to eat it too or do you really think he just wants to date around to make sure he is doing the right thing with me? Do you think will stop this seemingly obsessive online dating when/if he does decide to just be with me? I am so very confused and very hurt and just wanting advice. I am very much in love with this guy and had planned a ton of nice things for his upcoming birthday as well as the vacation we are supposed to go on next month."

Desiree, I feel your pain, and so, my answer will be quick and to the point: if he's not exclusively dating you and can't agree to it now, then it's time for you to take a huge step back. Sure, you didn't have the exclusivity talk, but you both can take responsibility for that one. He didn't tell and you didn't ask. But if he's not willing to be your boyfriend (and it sounds like that's the only acceptable situation for you - nothing wrong with that), then don't let him be and don't treat him like one anymore. Cancel your vacation together and any other big plans, and then let him know that if or when he's ready to start being exclusive with you, you can talk more. Until then, stay busy, lean heavily on your friends, and let him explore his harem solo.


about.com | 15-Sep-2011 02:18

My Boyfriend's a Bad Kisser. Help?

Sarah asks, "My boyfriend is a really bad kisser. I don't want him to think I'm avoiding kissing him, but... How do I tell him without offending him, or show him how to kiss without really showing him?"

Bonny's answer: You don't say specifically why your boyfriend is a bad kisser, so I have to assume he's doing something that you don't enjoy. Too much tongue perhaps, or maybe he doesn't understand the tempo or rhythm of a great kiss. Either way the fix is fairly straightforward: make a game out of it. Tell your boyfriend you want to try something new, and ask him to follow what you do - a mime if you would. Ask him to close his eyes, open his mouth slightly, and be flexible with whatever comes his way. Then kiss him the way you like to be kissed, teasing him gently if he starts doing his own thing instead of taking your lead. "Nuh uh! This is my version of Simon Says, and Sarah says close your eyes and relax!"

You could also try different methods of kissing to get some new ideas for the both of you to try. Make a night of it even, attempting to mimic the kisses in your favorite movies, or teach each other how to give a 'screen kiss' just in case one of you decides to become a famous actor and, well, you know. Take kissing quizz, make a list of all the different types of kisses there are, or tell him you read about a new kissing technique you'd like to try out. Point is, have fun with it, and be open to learning something new yourself. And when your partner's bad kissing turns into something divine, make sure to moan or otherwise display your pleasure so he knows without question he's on the right track.

Related: Should I Hold Off On Passionate Kissing Until I'm Ready To Have Sex?


about.com | 13-Sep-2011 07:04

Bad Dating Books

Have you ever read a dating book that really turned your stomach, disagreed with strongly or you found full of errors? Now's the time to vent your frustrations and share your thoughts.

I'm working on a piece about bad dating books and need your suggestions. If you've got one (or a couple) you'd like to put up on the chopping block, I'd love to hear your thoughts, either in the comments or as a dating book review of your own. Did you buy a book and wanted your money back, or had a book suggested to you that you can't believe someone liked? It doesn't matter why the dating book didn't resonate, just that you didn't get anything out of it and are willing to share the reason(s) why. To get started, here's a current list of my least favorite dating books:


about.com | 10-Sep-2011 01:28

Halloween Costumes for Couples and Singles

As I was walking around today I saw Halloween candy lining the local grocery stores already. Which, for me, was really exciting, considering how much I love Halloween. An excuse to get dressed up and act silly is always a great idea in my books -- even better when single, as there are a multitude of ways to meet new people during this yearly event.

Have you thought of your Halloween costume yet? Are you going to rent something, make your own, or ignore the festivities altogether? I've already come up with a huge list of couples Halloween costumes, and have some fun how to make your own singles Halloween costume ideas, too. For both articles, I wanted a great list of ideas to choose from that you won't find elsewhere, or, that inspires you to create something unique, eye-catching and fun. If you've got an idea to add, feel free to send me an email or post a comment.


about.com | 07-Sep-2011 02:13

What's Your Favorite Fall Date Idea?

Everyone's returning to school, the long weekend is (almost) over, and there's a definite crispness to the air that wasn't there even a few days ago. Fall is fast approaching, and it always makes me wistful for date ideas that take full advantage of the romance in the changing season.

I've got some (what I think are) really great Halloween date ideas, but that's still a ways away - although not too early to start thinking about your couples Halloween costume or singles Halloween costume.

There's one that really stands out for me as a favorite fall date idea, and that's hitting a local farm that hosts a corn maze, getting lost, and working with your date or partner to try and get out. What's your favorite date idea to share with your partner during the fall months?


about.com | 05-Sep-2011 07:03

New Dating Site Reviews for September 2011

We're a busy bunch, fellow online daters. I've reviewed some new dating sites, and you've shared your dating site experiences in droves. Here's what's new for September 2011. Also, feel free to share your own dating site reviews as well by using the links next to all of the dating site names.

Adult Dating Site Reviews Ashley Madison Reviews ...

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about.com | 03-Sep-2011 07:09

He Doesn't Want Kids But I'm A Single Parent Dating Question

Ashley asks: "My boyfriend told me he never wanted kids. It wasn't very surprising when he told me that his ex wife stopped taking birth control pills so she could get pregnant. It also wasn't surprising when he told me that he signed all of his parental rights for his own child away and got a divorce. The thing that surprises me is that we met through an online dating site. He knew from my page that I had a child that lives with me part time, yet he pursued me anyway. I do not try and force him to spend time with my child, but at the same time it would be great if he did. Is this relationship worth staying in?"

...

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about.com | 25-Aug-2011 18:14

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